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what should i do?
All our lives, people tell us what to do. If we’ve been to school, we’ve been told when to sit down and when to stand up, when to think about math and when to think about art, and, for crying out loud, when to pee! If we’ve been part of the church, we’ve been told to read this, pray that, promise these things, give this much to this person (me!). Wear these clothes, stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down, say “amen.” We’ve even been told to believe what we’re told to believe (or else!).
Is it any wonder people don’t know how to look inside themselves and find out what they truly believe is the way, the thing to do?
You are created in the image of God. If you don’t like the name “God”, let me put it another way. You represent the infinite beauty of this universe. You have the capacity to love, to hope, to give life to another. You have the ability to figure out exciting ideas, to create works of art, to love a child.
You decide where to point your attention, and you notice what is to your liking and what isn’t. You can lean in the direction of beauty and life, or in the direction of things that bring some form of satisfaction, but in the end, leave you empty. You, in the image of God (or in the image of good, if you prefer) are creator, lover, spark of the divine fire.
Your ability to choose is a huge part of this divine nature you carry around. It needs to be treasured, honored, not circumvented at every turn.
our brother loved your choosing
Jesus is often seen as threatening: “Repent or else!” But I see him as giving us a loving warning, instead: “Choose life, or suffer.” (For more on this see the post repent or burn.) When someone asked “What must I do to inherit the kingdom?” he responded with what can only be seen as the advice of a teacher. Follow the commandments (love God with everything you’ve got & love your neighbor as yourself) and you’ve done it. When asked “Who is my neighbor?” he told a story about how someone else had chosen to act in a particular moment, faced with a particular situation. He didn’t say “Here are the hoops you must jump through. Say these magic words, write a check, and you’re in.” In fact, I figure “Love God with all your heart, all your mind and all your spirit” is all about choosing, discerning. It’s your heart, your mind he’s asking for. Not your teachers, your stern father’s, your pastor’s.
so i can do whatever i want?
Sure you can. The trick is to listen for what you really want. Paul said some things that scare me, but many things I really love. One of those is his talk about how “everything is permissible” doesn’t mean everything is a good idea.
But the really cool thing is that without freedom, we miss out on all kinds of beautiful possibilities. Think back to the story of the Samaritan. He is walking and finds someone along the side of the road who has been beaten, robbed, and left for dead. Two upstanding citizens have walked by and not helped the man. They followed the rules, but they didn’t follow their hearts. The Samaritan broke the rules. He was probably late for an appointment as a result. He was dirty, and spent money to help the guy that was intended for some other purpose.
It’s not about being “allowed” to choose; you don’t need anybody’s permission. It’s more about this: Though it includes the risk that we will do stupid things, it’s the choosing that allows for the possibility of our doing beautiful things.
Your freedom is an amazing thing. It can create worlds of beauty. It allows you to decide to pursue love at any cost, to really follow the tugging in your heart that’s a call to follow the Source.
don’t let me tell you what to do
No one knows what’s in your heart but you and your Higher Power. Nobody. Nobody knows what costs you would bear if you were to give up smoking or drinking. No one knows whether you are “too lazy to clean your house” or you actually clean enough to cause your arthritis to flare. Nobody has access to the factors you must use to make every little decision in your life. That means nobody can tell you what you should do.
Nobody can tell you that you’re “too fat” or “too lazy” or “too busy” or “too lukewarm” or whatever.
You might decide you want to do something differently. You might take our Brother’s advice to change your ways, to love more, give more, do more. But it will be you (with the guidance of your Higher Power and whoever you choose to consult with) who makes that decision.
my prayer
May I remember, when I’m tempted to judge someone’s choices, that I don’t know their heart, that I haven’t walked in their shoes. May I honor their choices, nurture their freedom, provide loving support for their process of discernment. Maybe I remember that my job is just to love, not to fix. Amen.
Posted by Angela under ideas
Monday, August 10, 2009
4 Comments
A lovely bit of writing and so true. If we are to live and love happily, we must each follow the calling of our own heart. Not judging is key, even when (you think) you have all the facts. There is too much judging in this world. Loving without fixing: I think this is a good concept.
And so hard to do, huh? Not judge, I mean. I do it all the time.
I use a lot of words when I’m dancing around what I really want to say. What I think is in my heart is this: Don’t like abortions? Don’t have one. Don’t approve of “homosexuality”? Fine. Don’t think people should spend their days begging and drinking and their nights sleeping in a bush? Fine. Don’t spend your days that way.
But for God’s sake, don’t think you have any right to tell other people what to do. Not only are you fallible, you are inherently unable to see the world though their eyes.
And… AND… it breaks my heart when people I care about are so oppressed by shoulds and shame coming at them from folks who think they know better. I’m speaking up because I really do believe in a God that offers freedom in love, not oppression in judgment. So there. :P
Love you.
–Angela